Lost

Moving is never fun and as a career Army family, I knew that moves would be plentiful and regular. Being forearmed with that knowledge does not, in fact, make it easier. This move in particular I have really been struggling with finding my niche. I have yet to make a single friend and not from lack of trying. Some days I even find myself wishing we'd decided to live on post because then, at least, it'd be slightly easier to meet people. While I am very happy with the neighborhood we're in, there are very few, if any, kids around. We've found a church and have been trying to get involved there but even that hasn't really panned out to making any acquaintances let alone friendships. 

I've gone to an FRG meeting (which I usually avoid like the plague haha), have biggish in gymnastics, joined a local homeschool group and have gone to events yet, nothing. It's amazing to me that in an Army town of this size how incredibly unfriendly people are. It really blows my mind. While I can be a tad outspoken, I am fairly adept at social situations nor am I shy. One of my strengths has always been my ability to talk to people and make them feel comfortable. Heck I'm going to be a counselor someday in the not too distant future, I *have* to be able to talk to people. Yet here it seems like an impossible task. 

Maybe it's because this area has such a high turnover, maybe people are jaded. Who really knows. All I know is that, frankly, this sucks. Each day I'm finding myself homesick for California and even for Georgia. Biggish asks almost everyday if we can go back to either Georgia or California because he misses his friends (especially the ones in Georgia). It breaks my heart that I don't have a good answer for him. 

I love the adventure of a new place but I do NOT love this, this lost feeling I have. I hate feeling lost. 

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #40

Which was the best day of your life- Wedding day or Homecoming day? submitted by Pink Champagne, Gatorade & MREs

Not to downplay the amazingness of homecomings, which are indeed awesome, I'm going with our wedding. I absolutely loved our wedding. People *still* tell us that ours was one of them most enjoyable weddings they've been to. Which is exactly what we wanted, a day that people other than ourselves would remember. Homecomings are special but they are far more numerous than our wedding which was unique.

Were you a part of the joining the military question or did you sign up for the relationship when your man was already in the military? submitted by Cammo Style Love

No I was not. He'd been in for around 6 years when we met and was upfront that he was a lifer. So yes, I'm one of those "knew what I was getting when I married him" gals. I'd swore I'd never date anyone in the  military...obviously that worked out well for me haha. 

What is your favorite Disney movie and why? submitted by Raising Roscoe

Sleeping Beauty. One because I absolutely LOVE Maleficent - she's pretty much my favorite Disney character ever but two the style of animation is just breathtakingly beautiful. The style of animation just entrances my artist eye. 

What is your favorite family activity to do on the weekends? submitted by Destination: RN!

Just being together. Corny, yes, but true none the less. Our time is precious and just being together as a family is enough. One of our favorite activities other than just hanging out is Geocaching. If you don't know what it is go check out geocaching.com but in a nutshell it's kind of like a treasure hunt of sorts using GPS coordinates. Also it's a great way to explore a new area! 

Where do you secretly wish you could be stationed with you/your SO’s line of work (realistically speaking, not everyone can be stationed on NAS Fiji)? submitted by Wookie & Co. 

Anywhere in Europe. It's not a secret - I'm a travel bug with a serious love of Europe. Honestly though, there are very few places in the world that I DON'T want to visit - every move, every trip is just a new adventure. Both the hubs and I have been lucky enough to have traveled quite a bit and we've even talked about retiring somewhere not the USA someday. Not that we don't love our country, we do but we also have a love of an adventure. We'll see!! 

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #39

Giving it another whirl! 

Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? submitted by When Good People Get Together

Not yet but we've discussed it. Right now our kids are young and I'm homeschooling the oldest so we're pretty travel ready. It'd really depend on the situation. I'm getting ready to start grad school in the next few months so yes, we know it might at some point be beneficial for us to live apart for awhile. I've had several friends who've done the geobatch tour with varying degrees of success. Frankly we spend enough time apart, I'd like to avoid it. 

What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? submitted bySarah Ruth Today


"Just" being proud of him for his service and sacrifice. Moving, while it can be a pain (see our nightmare move haha) can also be a great adventure! 

If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you?  submitted by Trust. Love. Believe. Bake.


That's a tough one. On one hand yes because I miss having my career and location stability but on the other hand, I've really enjoyed all of our adventures. I could live without deployments of course but it is what it is. Regardless we're now on the downhill slope to retirement so we'll find out in just a few years. 



What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? submitted by Army Soldier, Army Wife


Thankfully uneventful. Just takes a few days to get used to having him around again. We're pretty low key people and hubs, thankfully, is a pretty calm guy who's been there done that and hasn't had any re-integration problems. 

If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something?  submitted by Tiara’s & ACU’s


With our oldest we didn't find out what we were having - I was *throughly* convinced that it was a girl...so much that when he was born and hubs announced that he was indeed a HE, I promptly said "no it's not!" So we had several names picked out - I'd had a lot of complications and conked out from meds soon after he was born. When I woke up, I asked when we were going to fill out the birth certificate only to have the nurse tell me that my husband had done that "hoooooours ago!" I was not amused. It was his first choice name and my 2nd...lucky for the hubs, it fits him PERFECTLY and I could not fathom him having any other name. After that debacle, I had the final choice on baby two haha. His name was just one that I really loved and seems to fit him perfectly. His middle names (yes two) are after my grandpa who passed away while I was pregnant with him and after my dad. I would love to have a little girl because I had a few fantastic girlie baby names but we're done so they'll just have to sit in my memory. 




Mr Linky http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=wifeofasailor&postid=29Apr2011

Thank You Red Cross

Last Friday morning, early, long before the sun rose, my husband got a phone call that we'd both been expecting and dreading. His dad had passed away from the big C. He'd been sick for quite a while and recently had been told he had no more than 6 month - it ended up being closer to 2 weeks. Hubs was actually up and getting dressed because he was scheduled to take a PT test that morning - obviously that didn't happen. 

What did happen was that the wheels started turning of getting a Red Cross message to him and to his command. Everything went amazingly smooth. Especially considering it was just hours before they expected to shut the government down. We were a little stressed at the prospect of buying a last minute and very expensive plane ticket and not knowing when we'd get paid again...if it'd be a week or a month. Not exactly a stress free situation. We're pretty religious about saving and knew we'd be ok but the whole looming shutdown just made it a little harder to plunk down over $1,000 for a last minute flight. 

Which is another side rant. Since when did airlines start charging MORE for bereavement flights?! I usually pride myself on being a savvy travler and know the ins and outs of buying tickets etc. but man, I was shocked that it was going to cost us that much to fly one person to Florida from Texas. I could understand if he was going to say, Fiji but to fly from Texas to Florida? When I called several airlines to see if they had discounted bereavement rates or military rates imagine my shock to find that the prices went up by several hundred dollars compared to what their websites showed. But I digress. 

Some kind soul at the Red Cross decided that they'd be an awesome person and helped us out. Frankly we haven't had much of that in a long time. They contract through someone and they arranged for a flight that cost MUCH less than what we'd found on our own. The Red Cross and AER (Army Emergency Relief) paid for it and all he had to do was pick it up. Being able to have that worry, that stress of finding flights, etc taken away was just amazing. Of course we're paying the AER back and I wouldn't have it any other way- just the fact that they stepped up like that especially when they didn't have to just blows me away. 

I cannot thank them enough for stepping up and making the situation a little bit easier. 

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #32

Hey, hey, hey! I think I'm getting the hang of this thing! We've been on the road (over 4000 miles in the last 3 weeks!) and just got home last night so this is a welcome break from unpacking, laundry, leftover moving chaos etc.

Here we go!

Do you or your {spouse} ever wish your {spouse} was in a different branch of the military? submitted by The Turner Family


I'm actually pretty well qualified to answer this question as I'm a current Army spouse and former Navy spouse. No, no ex husbands laying around...when the hubs and I met, he was in the Navy with every intention of being a "lifer" in the Navy (he'd already been in 6 or so years) well with his job there was a lot of downsizing and "voluntary" retirements, he was approached by the Army (they need weathermen too but don't train their own, they poach them from other branches...he was the only one at his command that made the switch and since then, quite a few people from that command have said they wish they'd made the switch too) and chose to switch branches. It was a fairly painless switch and was a definite learning experience. We both definitely miss the Navy but career-wise, we know it was the right decision. I think if he could, he'd go back into the Navy but we're not playing musical branches with about 6 years left till retirement. 

What duty station(s) are on your “No Way, Hell No, Not Going, Have Fun Unaccompanied” list and why? submitted by Every Branch


HA! I never wanted to leave my beloved central coast/northern California especially for anything in the *gasp* south yet we just spent nearly 3 years in Georgia and now will be spending roughly the next two smack in the middle of Texas. The only two places that we've talked about that we absolutely do not want to go is Fort Bliss (we don't feel it's safe) and I'd really love to avoid Fort Irwin. It's HOT (middle of the Mohave desert) and literally in the middle of nowhere. I did a photography project out there in college and holy crap, it was beyond what I could deal with. 

If you could be one age forever, what age would you choose and why? submitted by Three Krakens


So far every age has been good for different reasons. So far my late 20's/30's have been my favorite because I feel quite settled into my own skin, have my little family, and am just generally content. I know I wouldn't want to go back to teenage years haha so that's something. 

If you were a breakfast cereal, which one would you be? submitted by the C.W.


Granola without nuts because I'm crunchy and hippyish....but I don't like nuts so there's that 

What is your morning beverage of choice and why?  submitted by NH Girl Displaced


Lately it's been tea. I go back and forth between coffee and tea as I enjoy both quite a bit. I LOVE tea and have a large collection but the hubs likes coffee and frankly sometimes, I'm just lazy and drink what he's already made. We actually just got a new coffee pot (thanks mom!) for Christmas (but we just picked it up when we were home lol so we just used it for the first time today) and it's pretty nifty! It has a coffee pot on one side and heats water on the other so it'll be nice and easy to satisfy both of my loves. 

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #30

Giving it a shot again! Sorry if links are wonky! 

What is your favorite MilSpouse blog (not including Wife of a Sailor who we all love, or your own)? submitted by Our Crazy Life(Wifey note: whaaaat? You can’t say my blog? No fun! LOL, just kidding) 


I don't know that I have a favorite - I'm a very bad blog reader. I have quite a few bookmarked...ok who are we kidding, I'm addicted to bookmarking pretty much everything, and have an entire sub category of fellow spouse bloggers. I think theNth has to be up there, I love her style and I definitely gravitate towards fellow geek girls. 

What are your favorite perks about your s/o being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife 


Hogging the covers. I have to say that when he's gone I get quite used to not having to live around his schedule and surprise TDYs. Plus when he's gone I generally travel frequently - we homeschool biggish so that gives us lots of flexibility too. The last deployment we figured out that we traveled for nearly 8 of the 12 months! We're already planning on the next deployment doing some international travel as the midgets will be less midgety. Homebody I am not! 

How long did you date your <significant other> before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic


We dated for about 9 months before getting engaged. We were married about 6 months later. Looking back it looks a bit rushed but it really didn't feel that way. We were both north of 25 and just "knew" and that was the proverbial that. 


What do you think your <significant other> would do if s/he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared


The crazy, crazy man wants to be a high school history teacher so I'd imagine he'd be doing that or possibly working for NOAA in some capacity (he's a meteorologist). We'll find out in a few short years though! He's in the twilight of his career so these are definitely things we've talked about. 


If you could talk to the Secretary of (fill in your appropriate branch) what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families?  submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife


I feel very strongly about the mental health arena, that there needs to be more and easier access for not just Soldiers but their family members too. When a Soldier suffers from PTSD, they do not suffer alone. Seeing the effects first hand is just heart wrenching and it's a very real, very large problem. The powers that be have been trying to adress it better but they have a long way to go in both providing help and helping to tear down the stigmas attached to even asking for help. 



http://wifeofasailor.com/

Once upon a time there was this lamp....

It was an ugly lamp. Functional, yes, but ugly. Undeniably so. But it was my lamp. It was a faithful lamp, it lit many a dark corner, it had uncomplainingly moved with me countless times from dumpy college apartments to young single working gal (not *that* kind of work) pad to blissful nuptial nest and beyond. It weathered several PCS moves as well as two not-exactly-gentle little boys.

And then we moved to Texas.

Some how the mover who packed my faithful but ugly lamp decided that it should go in a box with none other than a metal baseball bat. Yes. Really.

Guess who won?

Not the lamp.

So dear lamp, it is off to the dump you go. I hate to do it but this time you are irreparably broken. You've been a good lamp. I'm sorry our movers were obviously stupid. You should see some of your fellow furnishings. Really, it's not a pretty sight.